The Beginner’s Guide to eHarmony – an EHarmony Review

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The eHarmony Review

There’s nothing quite like a two pronged approach, right? Online dating is a brave new world, and the etiquette and, shall we say, ‘road to success’, is very different for men and women.

That’s why we – two intrepid e-dating explorers – decided to test the waters and try something new with eHarmony. We started from scratch, lovingly crafting the perfect profile and tackling all the obstacles you’ll encounter along the way, in order to help you hit the ground running when you choose to take the plunge. So, let the two of us – Ben for the guys and Stef for the girls – help you start out on your online dating journey, by sharing our first-hand experience through our eHarmony Guide.

How much does eHarmony cost?

We’ll start off with how much it’ll cost you to meet the lovely men and women of eHarmony – money can’t buy you love, but it can definitely make it easier to meet people!

eHarmony prices vary depending on the duration of your stay on the site – you’re definitely best off placing your faith in their dating expertise and sticking around for 6 months or a year when it comes to cutting your eHarmony cost:

Price Per Month


Total Cost

£12.9512 Months£155.40
£28.956 Months£173.70
£36.953 Months£110.85

(Prices checked in April 2016, but can vary)

However, you can rather generously join for free to set up your profile; you can see if you like the feel of the site and if your matches look like they have relationship potential before you go any further. There is even the occasional free communication weekend, allowing you to send out some messages and start the ball rolling without putting pen to paper, and the new ‘TotalConnect’ plan, which also offers free calls within the eHarmony setup.

And, of course, with Vouchercloud you can make some pretty impressive savings too. In fact, you can get an exclusive 60% off your 6-month subscription if you sign up with a little help from your favourite money-saving site and an eHarmony promo code, taking some money off that eHarmony price.

But enough about the finances – you came here for the inside details, right? Sneaky devil.

Creating your Profile, and the eHarmony Questionnaire

In all honestly, dating websites aren’t really our bread and butter (other than that infamous app which almost certainly gives you repetitive strain injury in your thumb from all the swiping).

eHarmony - promo image


And the matches? Well, the conversation is pretty lacking – which is to be expected in a ‘hook-up’ app – and the results inevitably lead to a hunger for a different approach.

So when the opportunity to try eHarmony swung our way, we thought we’d give the ‘brains behind the butterflies’ website a heartfelt attempt.

The premise is simple; you tell eHarmony all about yourself, rather than what you’re looking for. After filling out a questionnaire on your characteristics, beliefs, values, emotional health and skills, eHarmony matches your core traits and values with compatible users.

The questionnaire is in-depth…. and part of you will want to rush through it just to see your matches. But don’t give in to temptation; the whole idea is that the quality of your answers and profile will provide you the most suitable matches.

eHarmony Advice for Men – THAT Background Picture

As with most dating websites, eHarmony places a big focus on that always-important first photo.  However, rather uniquely, that first picture is a large background image, making up the entirety of the first page of your profile.

It’s still a profile picture on a dating website, which means it comes with the standard set of rules – no couples, no half-naked pictures, no pictures of just you with girls because it puts girls off, etc. – but a picture with this much space requires something a little unique.

I personally struggled with this, because it’s quite a unique size of picture to have – so here’s my advice:

  • Farm some Facebook banner pictures – the dimensions are pretty appropriate for the size you’ll need.
  • Holiday pictures work surprisingly well – beaches and idyllic scenery make for beautiful backgrounds.
  • Try to avoid using a grainy, poor quality picture – sometimes, you’ll have the perfect picture in mind that doesn’t quite fit the unique dimensions required, but trust me, it isn’t worth it.
  • Focus on a photo that’s beautiful, not a beautiful photo of you – given the size, it’s often pretty tricky to gauge who someone is and what they look like from this giant-imaged first impression. Save your best smiles and angles for the smaller, more personal pictures, and simply having something pleasing to the eye for that good first impression.

eHarmony Advice for Women – How to Write-up the Perfect Profile

Nobody likes writing about themselves, especially when trying to portray yourself in a positive light and your British self-demeaning side is screaming at you. So I asked a few friends how they would describe me to someone who had never met me and once we got over the HILARIOUS first responses, some of them actually hit home.

Take your time and fill out your profile. Proofread what you’ve written, as typos look sloppy and no-one wants to date someone too lazy to re-read what they’ve written – first impressions an’ all.

eHarmony Advice for Men – Messaging about Specific Interests

One of my favourite features about eHarmony is the ability to message someone with regards to a specific section on their profile.

Although the eHarmony overlords recommend you start off with ‘quick questions’ to ease into your introduction, sometimes you catch a profile that you immediately relate to; and in particular, they could have dreams and goals, music tastes or life skills that speak to you as a person.

eHarmony, message about specific interests

Ignore Ben, his friend, and metal Serbian guy. Look at the wee envelope.

If you click the small mail symbol next to a specific section, you can skip the quick questions and simply talk to someone new about a shared passion – this is a great way to make your introduction, showing that you’ve taken care to read your match’s profile and making a specific connection right off the bat.

That, and nobody likes a ‘Hey, how are you?’

eHarmony Advice for Women – Listen to the eHarmony Advice!

Although I don’t consider myself an anxious person, I really enjoyed eHarmony’s words of advice along the way.

eHarmony - message advice

Isn’t that adorably useful?

I imagine that online dating can be a whirlwind of emotions, and it was nice to see some reassuring words along the way. The utterly relaxed and chilled out tone helped calm down the post-message-click stress, and it simply reaffirms why eHarmony sets out the stages of communication as it does, guiding you through the process and letting you know when and where to expect a reply should your message hit home.

FAQ – How to spark up a conversation

So you’ve completed the questionnaire and profile but don’t know what to do next?

Like Ben said, you can message someone regarding their specific interests, which is a great feature. Still not too sure what to write? Fear not, eHarmony is there to help!

eHarmony - Sparking up a Conversation

Don’t be shy. Or, be a little bit shy, but pretend you aren’t, at least for a little bit.

When clicking on the message icon on your match’s profile you can then choose to ask your match ‘5 quick questions’ that you can pick from a handy list. If none of those tickle your fancy then you can chose to send your own. The list is a great selection of light, friendly probing questions. For example, if you know you don’t want to date an overly introverted, shy person,  you can choose to send a question such as: If you were taken by your date to a party where you knew no one, how would you respond?

These questions are great little ice breakers to get the ball of romance rolling and to see just how suitable your match is.

FAQ – How do I send an eHarmony ‘smile’?

The first piece of loveliness to find its way to my (Ben’s) inbox was a ‘smile’. Now, however simple a gesture that may seem, it was very confusing when you’re just starting out – particularly because it’s not made entirely clear where you have to go to send someone a ‘smile’ yourself.

A smile on eHarmony is basically the first point of contact; think a nod and a smile across a crowded bar, just on the internet. It quickly and easily enables further contact (the suggested response is to ask ‘five quick questions’, starting off the process of getting to know each other if you so choose).

eHarmony - sending a smile

Again, ignore Ben’s profile. Just look at the wee smiley face.

To send someone a smile, you have to actually be on their profile page. At this point, it’s a pretty simple process – just hover over the small smiley face next to their name and basic information, and give it a click!

eHarmony Review – Ben

Speaking personally, one of the massive differences for me from your standard dating website was the people (however cheesy that sounds).

In contrast to the traditional guys spam, girls ignore message approach many of us are now used to, eHarmony allows you to start things off gently and smiles and simple questions. This means that there’s less pressure on guys to be the ones to start things off, and more chance that the girls will be happy to get things rolling.

That, in my books, is a very good thing.

eHarmony Review – Stef

The eHarmony experience is a refreshing one in the online dating world. With the multi-faceted approach to initiating conversation with someone, it makes it so much easier to make that first contact with someone.

As you’ve already been ‘matched’ with someone, there’s also that welcome reassurance that you have a lot, if not something, in common with the person you’re talking to.

I also agree with Ben in regards to the quality of your matches, as both parties have taken the time to fill out the questionnaire and profile. This results in some genuine and interesting conversations and meeting of minds. I would definitely recommend eHarmony to people that are looking to forge a meaningful connection with someone.

All we can recommend now is that you try out an eHarmony voucher and see for yourself!

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