Lovehoney Advent Calendar – A Review

Ah advent calendars. Everyone has childhood memories of peeling back little cardboard doors to reveal some very questionable, misshapen piece of chocolate. Part of the fun was deciphering whether the blob of chocolate more resembled a melted Santa zombie or a crooked candy cane.

Fast forward to 2017 and the advent calendars of the past are long gone. Children and adults alike, expect at the very least, a branded chocolate advent calendar, if not something more ‘special’.

And it is the adult advent calendars that have evolved into a much more sophisticated affair.

From advent calendars for gin lovers to a cheese advent calendar, there’s a box with 25 little doors to suit everyone’s taste. Beauty advent calendars have been particularly popular the past few years. There are high-end advent calendars from the likes of Jo Malone which will set you back a cool £300 to Estee Lauder’s Beauty Countdown advent calendar box which is £125, there’s a plethora to choose from.

However, this year, it is the Lovehoney advent calendar that is creating all the buzz. Literally.

What’s in the Lovehoney advent calendar?

The unique selling point of the Lovehoney advent calendar is undoubtedly that, while the above advent calendars focus on bringing joy to the sole recipient of the box, it brings pleasure to not only one, but two advent-urous people.

But what happens if you don’t want to share? Not a problem either, as most of the items are unisex. However the saying ‘happiness is only real when shared’ is true for a reason and this box full of delights proves it.

Lovehoney advent calendar

Lovehoney advent calendar



Forget for a minute what’s in the box and behold the beauty of the box in general! The black and purple polka dot hearts look great alongside the Lovehoney logo. The sturdiness of the box is also very welcome as the contents of the box equate it to being quite a heavy unit, so there’s no risk of anything breaking through the packaging.

Upon opening the box to reveal the 24 doors of joy, the anticipation is thick in the air. Imagine the excitement of a child standing before their Peppa Pig chocolate advent calendar and then times that by an adult 1,000 and you can see why this advent box is so exciting. 

Immediately you cannot help wondering what treat awaits you behind each door and not knowing is most definitely part of the fun. Opening each door with your partner in crime is exciting, thrilling and at times, laughter-inducing.

The calendar itself has easy to open doors and behind each one is a short description of how to use the toy and the name, which is very useful as some of the toy’s uses are not immediately obvious! But if you really struggle, you can go to the search bar on the Lovehoney site and search for the item as each toy has its own individual page with reviews and a description.

Fret not, there is the item's name and instructions behind every door!

Fret not, the item’s name and instructions is behind every door!

Is the Lovehoney advent calendar worth it?

The items themselves are high quality, many of them made from ultra-silky smooth silicone. In some cases, the batteries needed were included, which is great but we’d advise having a few more batteries and lubrication to hand. Several items retail for quite large amounts, making us think that this box contains a great deal of value and provides a good way of quickly building up a great toy collection for use in the bedroom.

 The contents of the box can be broken down into 5 categories: vibes, fun and games, self-pleasure, practical and restraints ensuring there’s a nice mixture of products for everyone to enjoy.


So much pleasure behind so many doors!

So much pleasure behind so many doors!

Considering that part of the fun is the mystery of not knowing what delight awaits behind each door, we’ll refrain from running through all the products, instead we’ll list a few stand out items for us.

Lovehoney Magic Bullet 10 Function Bullet Vibrator

Lovehoney bullet

Merry XXXmas!

Everyone needs one, everyone should have one already but if you don’t, you’re in for a treat!

This palm size vibrator is super-sleek and very discreet, you’re not likely to hear this one through thin walls. This bullet vibrator packs an incredible punch. It’s 10 powerful speeds and pulses are controlled by a single button so you can concentrate on hitting the bullseye every time.

Starting with a tingling buzz and graduating to strong and powerful finale you’d be forgiven for thinking that this toy was for clitorial stimulation only. This powerful vibe is also a ‘handy’ accompaniment for pleasuring your man in the bedroom too.

Bound to Please Under Mattress Restraints

Lovehoney under the bed restraints

‘Sorry I can’t help right now, I’m a little tied up!’

Bondage play doesn’t have to be scary with these luxury under the bed restraints.

It’s very easy to attach to the bed (of any size) and can be discreetly tucked away behind bedding when not in use. The restraints themselves are extremely comfortable being made from a velvet-like material which is extra added sensual bonus! But don’t panic, they can be easily undone if your partner’s hands are suddenly required in the heat of the moment!

This product restrains both the hands and legs so it is definitely an upgrade from the good ole’ handcuffs, allowing the recipient to enjoy absolute and total submission.

Lovehoney 5 Inch Slimline Silicone Dildo with Suction Cup

This one is bound to be a crowd pleaser. Its curved shape expertly seeks out G-spots or P-spots, whilst its sleek silicone finish and a generous serving of water-based lubricant will take you all the way to an almighty climax or two.


Smooth Sailing

Smooth Sailing

Its flared-base ensures safe anal play, while its suction cup base opens up a whole wealth of hands-free play options great for those lonely nights home alone!

Since being given this amazing advent calendar to review – it has already sold out in the UK!  

But fear not, our good pals at Lovehoney have kindly put together an extra special bundle of toys that feature in the calendar and have also very generously given all vouchercloud users 20% off!

We suggest wrapping them all up and putting them in a stocking for your partner to open one every day. Make sure to check out our Lovehoney page where you can make some rather seductive saving on your next purchase.

Merry XXXmas and hopefully Santa won’t be the only thing coming down your chimney this year!

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